I'm Cranky About It
"I don't want school to start up again! We were having lots of fun and now its all going to be ruined. I'm cranky about it!"
That wasn't one of my kids complaining Sunday night, it was me.
Three weeks into self-isolation at home as a family and we had an awesome routine. The kids were healthy and learning and growing. We did our own school you see. Every day the girls had to learn something new. They learned to cook, bake, drill, use an electric sander, build a swing, etc. We had gym class and no-tech time from noon to 5pm everyday, and the girls loved it. They read books and did art and invented their own board games.
There was one class I invented that isn't on the regular school schedule: Feelings Class.
We made our life maps, showing major events, losses and victories, and drew a line showing how we felt about them. We made more progress is three weeks at home then a year of counselling.
Those three weeks were amazing.
And it was all going to end.
Because of school.
I had a cranky attitude about it. "We have been making so much progress and now the girls are stressed and anxious and are going to regress. I am not willing to let that happen. We've worked too hard and come too far to go back now!" I ranted to my husband while ferociously washing dishes.
At tuck in time when I did our normal "feelings check in" with our youngest, I asked her what she was grateful for and what she was sad about. She was grateful for many things, and sad about not being able to see her friends or her grandparents. I listened. I didn't tell her it was going to be fine. I didn't diminish her feelings. I held her hand as she let a few tears slip. Then I told her that its ok to be sad or angry or frustrated when we loose something. There are no bad feelings, only bad ways of expressing those feelings. I told her that I was sorry that this was so hard, and reminded her that she isn't alone and that the whole world is feeling what she is feeling right now. I told her that we would get through it together and thanked her for sharing her heart with me.
We prayed and she flipped on her bed-time meditation ap. I stayed and rubbed her back until she fell asleep.
Then I went out and sat in the living room and gave myself the exact same speech.
Its ok to be sad that things are changing again.
Its ok to be frustrated that things are challenging.
Its ok to be anxious about how life will go.
There are no bad feelings.
Only poor ways of expressing those feelings.
Its not the dishes fault. I shouldn't take it out on them.
Hang in there parents. Its ok to thrown by this. Be kind to yourself.