Sick

"We should get placebo pills. I'm literally just giving her ginger pills now." I said to my husband, carrying a tray filled with vitamin C, a glass of water, a cold wet cloth and a hot water bottle to her room.

When you are building attachment with a child who has experienced neglect, they tell you to go over the top with doting affection. When they are sick its your time to really shine. Every Vicks Vapour Rub, every cup of NeoCitrin, every temperature taking, is answering their interior question of "Will you take care of me?"

So I've been doting.

And apparently....she loves it.

Over the past two months our hot water bottle has had more mileage than the it had in the previous 4 years. We have a constant rotation of ice packs coming in and out of the freezer for sore knees and ankles and hearts. I've probably spent a collective 4 hours tensor bandaging different ailments.

It is a bit convenient how the sore knee is miraculously better as soon as they get the urge to go to the pool.

It is a bit strange how the headache goes away when a friend wants to hang out after school.

Some would think the injuries weren't real.

But I know better.

I know that they are very, very real.

When I rub A535 onto her shoulders,

I'm soothing her heart ache.

When I gently place a cold cloth on her forehead,

I'm nurturing her sense of security.

When I tell her I'm getting out the Buckley's,

well, what's when I'm just exhausted and annoyed and want to put a temporary stop to it all so I can go to bed.